Implementing Capturing Kids' Hearts: FAQ's
How do I build a social contract effectively?
1. SELL IT:
When you start, that is where you get the buy-in. Use the
currency of "you are now young adults" and that adults know how
to treat each other. It is suggested you wait a few days after
class has started so that students have built some trust with you
and the group.
2. SELF-MANAGING GROUP CONCEPT
Again, adults know how to do this and don't need a parent or
teacher to do this for them. It is one of your goals for them to
know how to do this.
You might be a great enforcer, but what happens when you are not
there? A future boss wants an employee who knows how to self-
manage and hold a group accountable. One of the top
characteristics that companies look for is "team player". The
truth is, we tell our students to "work in groups", but they
don't know how. The contract helps show them what a team looks
like and puts the concept into practice.
3. LAY THE GROUNDWORK:
A. HAVE A "SO WHAT IF" LIST READY.
Be ready with specific examples of what will break the contract.
If you've tried the contract before, you probably have some good
examples, such as "So what if I sit at a desk with my head down
like this, is that respectful?"
B. ROLE PLAY WITH THEM.
Be the "misbehaving student" and have them identify what you're doing
incorrectly. This can be a powerful way to use concrete examples
and clearly define your expectations. The more you frontload the
issues, the more time you'll save in the big picture.
C. ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS:
Effort, Listening, No Put-downs, Confidentiality
(however, express the law here about when you have to seek out
the help the student needs)
How do I implement the social contract?
1. IT'S NOT JUST A POSTER.
Refer to the contract constantly. Evaluate each other on it.
2. BE VIGILANT.
Don't let the little things go by; confront the moment someone is
breaking the contract. This model teaches how to confront
conflict, not avoid it. This can happen a lot at first.
3. ASK, DON'T TELL
When you are tempted to tell someone what they should or
shouldn't do and why, ask them a significant question instead.
4. CONSISTENCY
It is recommended that teachers have consistent consequences from
one teacher to the next. The same goes with the signals.
How do I keep the social contract alive?
1. CONSISTENCY:
Be consistent. It's every day, not sometimes.
2. SELF-MANAGING GROUP
Are students holding each other accountable? Affirm it!
3. REVISIT THE CONTRACT
Revisit the contract often at first, then weekly and then maybe
every two. ("Are we following the contract? Is there anywhere
on the contract where we need improvement? Etc...)
4. ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE CONTRACT?
Have the group assess you before they assess themselves. This
can be done on paper, if needed ("Have I been honest with you?
Am I being helpful? Respectful? Following the contract?")
5. AMEND AS NECESSARY
It's a "living document", meaning it can be altered as the group
sees fit. You can always add more words, but do not take any
words away (students sometimes feel like it's too hard).
How do I make the FOUL tool relevant and helpful?
1. NOT A TOY
The foul is not a "gotcha" or a toy. It is a tool to help
someone understand when they are hurting another person. A key
question: "Are we trying help each other or catch each other?"
Another good question: "Have any of you ever had your feelings
toyed with? So, let's not toy with them."
2. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO STOP YOUR LESSON
When a foul has been called, it's important to process it in
front of the group at the beginning. However, as the group has
grown, the teacher does not need to stop everything and interrupt
the flow. It's ok to say, "Ok, I see you, will deal with it
in a moment" and finish your part of the lesson. Then, come
back later and say, "Ok, Brandi, you called a foul a couple of
minutes ago. Tell me what it was about."
If the group has grown to be a very secure group, you can even
say, "Oh, we have a foul over there? Can you guys take care of
it?" and the person who fouled can give the put-ups one-on-one
quietly.
3. FOUL-FOUL-FOUL
Repeating fouls is a social contract issue. Time the class out,
ask some key questions about whether the contract is being
followed, and move on. If it's one individual, it's time to go
to the "4 Questions".
Why should I make room for "Good News?"
1. Teaches Positive Thinking
2. This is a way to engage and explore your students
3. Teaches Listening Skills
4. Relationships can't be built without interaction
What makes "Good News" work?
1. High Energy
2. Call on different people (hands not necessary). Find a way to
keep this random. You don't need to ask, "Does anyone have
something good?"; Rather, call on someone and make it a
statement, "Celena, tell me something good!"
3. Comment or question further
4. SOLER Listening (Square up, Open Posture, Lean in, Eye
Contact, Respond with open ended questions or restatements)
5. You do not need to give advice to the student!
6. 3-5 minutes only!
How do I handle unexpected responses during good news?
1. "I DUNNO. NOTHING GOOD."
Wait -- then "I'm coming back to you. Be ready!"
Still nothing? Give them a good thing you know about the student
or ask someone to complement them. You can ask about the
previous weekend or something they are looking forward to.
2. INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE (Got drunk, etc.)
If they know it's inappropriate: Step back, wait, ask
reflectively, "So that's a good thing?", don't clap, and move
on.
If they don't know it's inappropriate (Dad took me to the bar
last night!): "Wow, so you got to hang out with Dad. Thank you
for sharing". Communicate with student later 1-on-1.
3. NEGATIVE RESPONSE ("My drunken father terrorized the family
last night!")
Acknowledge it (model empathy) and ask if they need anything from
you. Say something like, "Wow, I'm sorry that happened, Celena.
I can tell you are upset by this and I want to thank you for
sharing that with us. Let's show we support Celena and that
we're here for her (clap)."
4. DISRESPECTFUL COMMENT TOWARDS TEACHER ("You look hot today!")
The second it happens, time it out, and refer to the social
contract.
Ask: "What is the 3rd word on the contract? (Respect) I don't
find that respectful" and then move on.
5. SAME STUDENT ALWAYS SHARES
Acknowledge the student.
Affirm them for good participation.
Refer to the contract about being open or for listening.
Give others a chance to share.
What are the Four Questions?
FOR THE GROUP WHEN NO ONE IS HOLDING EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE:
1. Time out
2. What's happening here?
3. How did we say we would help each other?
4. Can you show me? (check) Good!
FOR MISBEHAVIOR
(talking while teacher is talking, not paying attention, etc., and the group has already "checked" the person)
1. What are you doing?
2. What are you supposed to be doing?
3. Were you doing it?
4. What are you going to do about it?
---
5. (repeat offender) What will happen if you do it again?
(consequence)
FOR DISRESPECT OF ANOTHER STUDENT OR TEACHER
1. Who are you talking to?
2. How are you supposed to talk to _____?
3. Were you doing it?
4. So how are you going to talk to _____?
---
5. (repeat offender) What will happen to you if you talk that way
again?
(consequence)
CONTACT A PROCESS CHAMPION
Your Process Champion is someone who has had some additional
training with
Capturing Kids' Hearts and may be able to help you.
1. MEGAN DERUITER ext. 41201
2. KELLY KEIMIG ext. 41104/41204
3. KATIE KOOLE-MCCURDY ext. 41206/41101
4. JOE PELLERITO ext. 41207
5. TERESA RADEMACHER ext. 41123
6. JEANETTE STEIN ext. 41224
How do I build a social contract effectively?
1. SELL IT:
When you start, that is where you get the buy-in. Use the
currency of "you are now young adults" and that adults know how
to treat each other. It is suggested you wait a few days after
class has started so that students have built some trust with you
and the group.
2. SELF-MANAGING GROUP CONCEPT
Again, adults know how to do this and don't need a parent or
teacher to do this for them. It is one of your goals for them to
know how to do this.
You might be a great enforcer, but what happens when you are not
there? A future boss wants an employee who knows how to self-
manage and hold a group accountable. One of the top
characteristics that companies look for is "team player". The
truth is, we tell our students to "work in groups", but they
don't know how. The contract helps show them what a team looks
like and puts the concept into practice.
3. LAY THE GROUNDWORK:
A. HAVE A "SO WHAT IF" LIST READY.
Be ready with specific examples of what will break the contract.
If you've tried the contract before, you probably have some good
examples, such as "So what if I sit at a desk with my head down
like this, is that respectful?"
B. ROLE PLAY WITH THEM.
Be the "misbehaving student" and have them identify what you're doing
incorrectly. This can be a powerful way to use concrete examples
and clearly define your expectations. The more you frontload the
issues, the more time you'll save in the big picture.
C. ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS:
Effort, Listening, No Put-downs, Confidentiality
(however, express the law here about when you have to seek out
the help the student needs)
How do I implement the social contract?
1. IT'S NOT JUST A POSTER.
Refer to the contract constantly. Evaluate each other on it.
2. BE VIGILANT.
Don't let the little things go by; confront the moment someone is
breaking the contract. This model teaches how to confront
conflict, not avoid it. This can happen a lot at first.
3. ASK, DON'T TELL
When you are tempted to tell someone what they should or
shouldn't do and why, ask them a significant question instead.
4. CONSISTENCY
It is recommended that teachers have consistent consequences from
one teacher to the next. The same goes with the signals.
How do I keep the social contract alive?
1. CONSISTENCY:
Be consistent. It's every day, not sometimes.
2. SELF-MANAGING GROUP
Are students holding each other accountable? Affirm it!
3. REVISIT THE CONTRACT
Revisit the contract often at first, then weekly and then maybe
every two. ("Are we following the contract? Is there anywhere
on the contract where we need improvement? Etc...)
4. ARE YOU FOLLOWING THE CONTRACT?
Have the group assess you before they assess themselves. This
can be done on paper, if needed ("Have I been honest with you?
Am I being helpful? Respectful? Following the contract?")
5. AMEND AS NECESSARY
It's a "living document", meaning it can be altered as the group
sees fit. You can always add more words, but do not take any
words away (students sometimes feel like it's too hard).
How do I make the FOUL tool relevant and helpful?
1. NOT A TOY
The foul is not a "gotcha" or a toy. It is a tool to help
someone understand when they are hurting another person. A key
question: "Are we trying help each other or catch each other?"
Another good question: "Have any of you ever had your feelings
toyed with? So, let's not toy with them."
2. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO STOP YOUR LESSON
When a foul has been called, it's important to process it in
front of the group at the beginning. However, as the group has
grown, the teacher does not need to stop everything and interrupt
the flow. It's ok to say, "Ok, I see you, will deal with it
in a moment" and finish your part of the lesson. Then, come
back later and say, "Ok, Brandi, you called a foul a couple of
minutes ago. Tell me what it was about."
If the group has grown to be a very secure group, you can even
say, "Oh, we have a foul over there? Can you guys take care of
it?" and the person who fouled can give the put-ups one-on-one
quietly.
3. FOUL-FOUL-FOUL
Repeating fouls is a social contract issue. Time the class out,
ask some key questions about whether the contract is being
followed, and move on. If it's one individual, it's time to go
to the "4 Questions".
Why should I make room for "Good News?"
1. Teaches Positive Thinking
2. This is a way to engage and explore your students
3. Teaches Listening Skills
4. Relationships can't be built without interaction
What makes "Good News" work?
1. High Energy
2. Call on different people (hands not necessary). Find a way to
keep this random. You don't need to ask, "Does anyone have
something good?"; Rather, call on someone and make it a
statement, "Celena, tell me something good!"
3. Comment or question further
4. SOLER Listening (Square up, Open Posture, Lean in, Eye
Contact, Respond with open ended questions or restatements)
5. You do not need to give advice to the student!
6. 3-5 minutes only!
How do I handle unexpected responses during good news?
1. "I DUNNO. NOTHING GOOD."
Wait -- then "I'm coming back to you. Be ready!"
Still nothing? Give them a good thing you know about the student
or ask someone to complement them. You can ask about the
previous weekend or something they are looking forward to.
2. INAPPROPRIATE RESPONSE (Got drunk, etc.)
If they know it's inappropriate: Step back, wait, ask
reflectively, "So that's a good thing?", don't clap, and move
on.
If they don't know it's inappropriate (Dad took me to the bar
last night!): "Wow, so you got to hang out with Dad. Thank you
for sharing". Communicate with student later 1-on-1.
3. NEGATIVE RESPONSE ("My drunken father terrorized the family
last night!")
Acknowledge it (model empathy) and ask if they need anything from
you. Say something like, "Wow, I'm sorry that happened, Celena.
I can tell you are upset by this and I want to thank you for
sharing that with us. Let's show we support Celena and that
we're here for her (clap)."
4. DISRESPECTFUL COMMENT TOWARDS TEACHER ("You look hot today!")
The second it happens, time it out, and refer to the social
contract.
Ask: "What is the 3rd word on the contract? (Respect) I don't
find that respectful" and then move on.
5. SAME STUDENT ALWAYS SHARES
Acknowledge the student.
Affirm them for good participation.
Refer to the contract about being open or for listening.
Give others a chance to share.
What are the Four Questions?
FOR THE GROUP WHEN NO ONE IS HOLDING EACH OTHER ACCOUNTABLE:
1. Time out
2. What's happening here?
3. How did we say we would help each other?
4. Can you show me? (check) Good!
FOR MISBEHAVIOR
(talking while teacher is talking, not paying attention, etc., and the group has already "checked" the person)
1. What are you doing?
2. What are you supposed to be doing?
3. Were you doing it?
4. What are you going to do about it?
---
5. (repeat offender) What will happen if you do it again?
(consequence)
FOR DISRESPECT OF ANOTHER STUDENT OR TEACHER
1. Who are you talking to?
2. How are you supposed to talk to _____?
3. Were you doing it?
4. So how are you going to talk to _____?
---
5. (repeat offender) What will happen to you if you talk that way
again?
(consequence)
CONTACT A PROCESS CHAMPION
Your Process Champion is someone who has had some additional
training with
Capturing Kids' Hearts and may be able to help you.
1. MEGAN DERUITER ext. 41201
2. KELLY KEIMIG ext. 41104/41204
3. KATIE KOOLE-MCCURDY ext. 41206/41101
4. JOE PELLERITO ext. 41207
5. TERESA RADEMACHER ext. 41123
6. JEANETTE STEIN ext. 41224